Fatherhood Tuesday
This past weekend, on three different occasions, I had to witness pain in my children and be able to do very little to fix it. As Dad's and men in general we tend to be fixers. That is our natural inclination. Show us a problem and we will fix it. However that is not always possible.
The first incident occurred after we came home from eating as a family at a restaurant. This particular restaurant gives this children balloons as they leave. For this reason alone, this is one of my kids favorite restaurants.
Balloons
As we got out of the minivan and were walking towards our steps, our littlest balloon came off the string bumped into the overhang of our garage roof, and all of sudden, Dad (me) with Mr. Myagi type reflexes, snatches the balloon out of the air and saves the day.
Then my oldest daughter's balloon bumped against the overhang and popped. Tears were forthcoming like lies from a politicians mouth. She was devastated, and there was nothing I could do to fix it.
As I watched my wife comfort her, I had climbed our stairs and was on our porch looking down at them. Out of the corner of my eye, I see our middle daughter right below me, loose her grip on her balloon. Once again, my Myagi like reflexes saved the day. I reached out a snatched to string right before it was too late. Thank you Karate Kid.
Bikes
At our family picnic on Sunday, my brother in law had brought bikes for his kids to ride. These bikes were kindly shared with my children as well. This was greatly appreciated since I had not thought to bring bikes for our kids.
I was sitting enjoying conversation with a relative when I noticed my daughter riding down a hill way too fast. Her fall at the bottom was brutal. There were about 20 years separating us, and I have not sprinted that fast since High School.
Upon reaching her, I scooped her up and held her. She was bleeding slightly from her knee and elbow. After bandaging her, the tears kept flowing. She kept telling me that her knee still hurt even after the band-aid was on. My children have a belief that band-aids relieve pain, so this was difficult for her to understand.
These are the moments when as a dad you wish you knew magic. You wish you could just take their pain away immediately. But alas we cannot. Within a few hours she was back on the bike again, so all was well.
Balls
I was trying to teach my four year old son to play catch. Things were going well and he decided to back up some. The first toss at this point hit him in the leg. He said ow, but that was the extent of it. The second toss was a repeat of the first.
A dad with more wisdom would have had him move closer at this point, but that would have made too much sense. So for a third time, I tossed him the ball. This time I tried to give it a little more loft so he would have more time to watch it a grab it. He watched it all right, right up until it hit him in the eye and nose.
Slight bleeding from the nose, and many tears from the eyes. Even more so when he saw the blood. The boy freaks out when he is bleeding and this was not exception. It took about 30 seconds for the nose to stop bleeding and about 10 minutes to calm him down. Not my brightest dad moment.
Conclusion
Even though our tendency is to be Mr. Fixit, being a great dad is not about that. Being dad is about being there. Being part of your kids lives. Kissing booboos, holding through the tears, and just being there. That is the key.
Fatherhood is trial and error. However, to try and error, you need to be present.
The first incident occurred after we came home from eating as a family at a restaurant. This particular restaurant gives this children balloons as they leave. For this reason alone, this is one of my kids favorite restaurants.
Balloons
As we got out of the minivan and were walking towards our steps, our littlest balloon came off the string bumped into the overhang of our garage roof, and all of sudden, Dad (me) with Mr. Myagi type reflexes, snatches the balloon out of the air and saves the day.
Then my oldest daughter's balloon bumped against the overhang and popped. Tears were forthcoming like lies from a politicians mouth. She was devastated, and there was nothing I could do to fix it.
As I watched my wife comfort her, I had climbed our stairs and was on our porch looking down at them. Out of the corner of my eye, I see our middle daughter right below me, loose her grip on her balloon. Once again, my Myagi like reflexes saved the day. I reached out a snatched to string right before it was too late. Thank you Karate Kid.
Bikes
At our family picnic on Sunday, my brother in law had brought bikes for his kids to ride. These bikes were kindly shared with my children as well. This was greatly appreciated since I had not thought to bring bikes for our kids.
I was sitting enjoying conversation with a relative when I noticed my daughter riding down a hill way too fast. Her fall at the bottom was brutal. There were about 20 years separating us, and I have not sprinted that fast since High School.
Upon reaching her, I scooped her up and held her. She was bleeding slightly from her knee and elbow. After bandaging her, the tears kept flowing. She kept telling me that her knee still hurt even after the band-aid was on. My children have a belief that band-aids relieve pain, so this was difficult for her to understand.
These are the moments when as a dad you wish you knew magic. You wish you could just take their pain away immediately. But alas we cannot. Within a few hours she was back on the bike again, so all was well.
Balls
I was trying to teach my four year old son to play catch. Things were going well and he decided to back up some. The first toss at this point hit him in the leg. He said ow, but that was the extent of it. The second toss was a repeat of the first.
A dad with more wisdom would have had him move closer at this point, but that would have made too much sense. So for a third time, I tossed him the ball. This time I tried to give it a little more loft so he would have more time to watch it a grab it. He watched it all right, right up until it hit him in the eye and nose.
Slight bleeding from the nose, and many tears from the eyes. Even more so when he saw the blood. The boy freaks out when he is bleeding and this was not exception. It took about 30 seconds for the nose to stop bleeding and about 10 minutes to calm him down. Not my brightest dad moment.
Conclusion
Even though our tendency is to be Mr. Fixit, being a great dad is not about that. Being dad is about being there. Being part of your kids lives. Kissing booboos, holding through the tears, and just being there. That is the key.
Fatherhood is trial and error. However, to try and error, you need to be present.
Labels: Fatherhood Tuesday
posted by Kurt | 3:01 PM
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